We’re rapidly approaching that time of year when people have sought to cheer themselves up by the giving and receiving of gifts.  Realising that many of you will be worrying about what to buy me, I thought now was probably the time to shine a light on the psychology of gift giving by means of a quiz.

As with all the best quizzes (I really mean worst), there is no prize beyond the satisfaction of knowing your true gift-giving prowess.

1. Would it be a good idea to ask me what I would like as a gift?
   a. Yes, you’d like it more if you got something you’d asked for
   b. No, you’d be more delighted by a surprise
   c. It doesn’t make a difference, each would be received equally.
2. I tell you that what I would like as a present is either a CP Thornton Guitar, a Fender Custom Shop EC Tremolux Amplifier or the latest Lee Child book.  Should you…
   a. Buy me one of the items from my list.
   b. Buy me a surprise.
   c. It doesn’t make a difference, I would appreciate both equally
3. In discussing your desperate need to buy me something, I only mention that I would like the CP Thornton Guitar.  Should you…
   a. Buy me the guitar
   b. Buy me a surprise
   c. It doesn’t make a difference, I would appreciate both equally
4. In looking at my list, you can’t decide what to get me and wonder whether it would be a good idea to give me money instead.  Would I:
   a. Rather have a gift from my list
   b. Rather have the money
   c. I would appreciate both equally

This quiz is based on research that was conducted by Francesca Gino and Francis Flynn for a paper in the Hounral of Experimental Social Psychology.

In various experiments they found a consistent pattern emerged and that there was a notable difference between what gift-givers thought and what the recipients did. It seems we’re not very good at appreciating other people’s perspectives when we’re asked to consider them, and instead we tend to overestimate the extent to which other people will think just like we do.

Q1. Would it be a good idea to ask me what I want as a gift?

Yes, it would.

People who imagined giving a gift thought it wouldn’t make any difference in terms of appreciation levels whether that gift was a surprise or something explicitly requested, but the recipients said they would appreciate a gift they’d asked for more.

Q2. Should you buy me something from my list or a surprise?

Something from my list.

When people were asked to recall a time they’d received a gift, those recalling having received something they’d requested from their list were more appreciative of it than those who received a surprise. But don’t worry if you thought it wouldn’t make a difference, most people who thought about a time they had given a gift thought it was appreciated equally, whether it was a surprise or requested on a list.

Q3. If I only mention one gift, should you buy me that or a surprise?

According to the research, most of you should have got this question right. You should buy me the gift I requested.

The researchers found that in this scenario gift givers were more likely to see that the recipient would be more appreciative of receiving the requested item.

Q4. Would it be a good idea to give money instead?

Most gift givers thought that money wouldn’t be appreciated as much as something someone asks for; they were wrong. Recipients said they would appreciate the money more than something they had asked for.

It’s worth considering that this research was done in North America. It’s quite likely that different values about the exchanging of gifts exist in other cultures.

But it’s interesting to reflect on how wrong we can be about what other people will value. It’s no surprise that rather than say, “I have no idea what someone else would value” we imagine that our assessment of what’s comparable as a gift will be perceived similarly by the other person.

I’ll tell the postman to expect some deliveries!

Source: Gino, F., and Flynn, F. (2011). Give them what they want: The benefits of explicitness in gift exchange. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 47 (5), 915-922 DOI: 10.1016/j.jesp.2011.03.015

Image courtesy: Thomas Hawk